Casualx Ad / Wanted: Wife-Dispellers

Mistress-dispelling services, increasingly common in China's larger cities, specialize in ending affairs between married men and their extramarital lovers.

                           --NY Times

 
We think this is an interesting idea, but we'd like to turn it around. We, the Mistresses, the Blondes, natural or dyed, are starting our own service—Wife Dispelling. For a fee, we will supply handsome, supple young golden-haired men with 3 day beards and cuff-linked shirts to lure those WINOs (Wives in Name Only) who are hanging onto dead marriages for reasons that are financial or merely social. Our wife-dispellers will offer mountain hikes or roller coaster rides under a full moon. They will open all doors, bring pots of fresh orchids, cook gourmet meals, and give erotic foot massages. They will call and text every day to tell someone else’s wife how beautiful and sexy she is. And most of all, they will be excellent listeners—listening raptly to whatever the about-to-be-ex wants to discuss in a cafe, in a horse-drawn carriage, or in bed. To join our team & reply to: lulu&tiffani@hemale.org.